Twisted: The Lost Libraries
by Uncle Elmo
Summary: Another Story in my Twisted series of Stories. This time Co-written with my Fiancee,


Twisted: The Lost Libraries. By Uncle Elmo & Aeris01  
  
Based on the "Twisted Chronicles" by Uncle Elmo  
  
Prologue…  
  
Here is where books lie, and sleep. Where one book ends, another begins. For these are no normal tomes. These books govern the dimensions we know and no not of. The library in which they stand are as old as time itself, large and vast-giving the area structure and composure to all…or none…that see it-and the Dewey-decimal system seems a thing of the past…or future as it may be. This library, like all others in the Omniverse, has an omnipotent creature guiding the upkeep of the books within the dome walls, this is the librarian. The librarian in THIS library, took the form of a disembodied black cape, and at the time of typing, he's actually reading "CHERRY FLAVORED OR BUBBLEGUM? A CONNOISOURS CHOICE- by Deanne" (about an extremely different lane of Narrative Causiality, one not suitable for minors)… down the hall. However tonight, or it may be this morning, (time has no meaning here, as anyone who's actually spent any length of time in a library would tell you, especially when it comes to internet connections). There's another figure in the library. It has taken him an eternity to get here, but he knows of the rewards that the Emperor gives to his subjects are more than worth the difficult task in hand. He threw his rope up and over aisle 15,101,979 and waited for the "Click". The rope held snug and he pulled his agile frame over it. Once on top of the asile, he looked down and saw the librarian deep in concentration and thought.  
  
That book is obviously very interesting, he thought to himself. Wonder what's in it? He thought for a while before pulling out a tattered piece of paper and looking at the Co-ordinates. "A-8, 141,999 S 143". He nodded and fired his ninja rope at the marble ceiling, then looking down, ensuring the librarian, now the size of an ant, was still too engrossed in his book, tested the rope and swung across the almost infinite expanse of the library. He had to swing a few more times before he got to the right place. Some titles had faded out completely, on others the ink was still wet. The particular book that he was concerned with had a depressingly plain cover, aisle 8,141,999 shelf 143. Upon it's side it had "TWISTED- By Uncle Elmo- A Guide to Dimensions #101 (Both Parts)". As you can tell it has a pretty long spine…He almost laughed with glee, but stopped himself short in time. He picked up the book, heavy with knowledge but lightweight enough. The figure closed his eyes and uttered the incantation that would enable him to take the book within itself, and disappeared…  
  
Down below, the librarian went off to get a bucket of ice to sit in.  
  
This is where books lie, and sleep…Where one book ends…another shall begin…  
  
Chapter 1: Once upon a time…  
  
The majestic forest was beautiful this time of year, the light shone through the canopy in pillars so bright, they seemed as solid as the trees underneath. The leaves overhead created a stained glass effect. Small animals scurried around on the floor. The fireball was burning bright as ever before it incinerated a small shrew…. Wait? A Fireball? Let me explain. Well since the last incident involving the Flipside (Dimension #101-B, a polar opposite of our own, a place so sadistic they watch "Showgirls" for fun…), that all the old F.A.N.F.I.C. agents (The First Agency for Narrative Fantasy and Inverse Causialities, sort of like an inter-dimensional N.Y.P.D, but without the corruption) were to train the new recruits in the arts of Magic.  
  
Uncle Elmo eyed his new pupil critically as his arms were held behind his back in an almost royal manner. His tone was stern and solid, as anyone would expect, as he stood a foot behind Aeris01. "Nice delivery, but you have to work on your aim..."  
  
Aeris01 gleamed at Elmo from over her glasses as she tried to catch her breath. "Hun, how long did it take YOU to master Fire 3?"  
  
Elmo smiled and laughed, "You have a point. Shall we try Bio 1? I know you can do it."  
  
Aeris01 looked crestfallen and sighed. "Do I have to? I still think it's stupid that the Queen is making us do this. Can't you tell her to jerk off?"  
  
Elmo shook his head "It doesn't work like that, the rules are sorta…written down, perhaps you want another teacher?" Elmo cocked his head to one side and looked at Aeris01 as he raised an eyebrow.  
  
She returned his request with a bright smile and held his hands in hers "No, I think this one's just fine…."  
  
They moved closer and closer, they closed their eyes and….  
  
"Will you two get a room or something?"  
  
They opened their eyes and saw Aerith, Elmo's niece standing there.  
  
"Aerith, I thought I asked you to call me before visiting!"  
  
"I'm sorry Uncle, but this is urgent, you've got to come back with me…"  
  
"Back where?"  
  
"Back to the future!"  
  
"Is it about our kids? Will they become Microsoft Technicians or something?"  
  
"No it's worse than that, you see, regarding the future… It's hard to explain… There isn't one"  
  
  
  
Chapter 2  
  
"What?" asked Elmo, as if a strange occurrence has never happened in his life before.  
  
"I knew you wouldn't understand. Come, I have something to show you…" Aerith held out her hand.  
  
Aeris01 exclaimed, "I'm coming with you! I'm sick and tired of us being separated in these little adventures."  
  
Aerith looked concerned "Are you sure? It could be dangerous."  
  
Aeris01 rolled her eyes in a sarcastic manner, "Look hun." She paused for a dramatic moment, "I've survived 15 years of attending school, after that, the apocalypse is a cinch!"  
  
Aerith nodded, "Fine, I might as well tell you now, Twisted has been stolen."  
  
Elmo slumped to the floor as he can only murmur the words, "Oh bugger…"  
  
Aeris01 tilted her head, "Let me guess, this is bad, right? How bad?"  
  
Elmo raised an eyebrow, "How bad can you imagine?"  
  
"That bad huh?"  
  
"Let's find Roy" affirmed Elmo "We have to tell him"  
  
Aerith waved her hand and the three figures disappeared without a trace….  
  
In the shadows the figure looked at his trophy and laughed. He picked up a cellular phone and spoke into it.  
  
"Master, the trap has been set…."  
  
  
  
Meanwhile, Roy looked at the clock in the FANFIC Headquarters and sighed, "No," he explained calmly to his student "Fire 3 is done this way…"  
  
The student snorted and fired a fireball straight at Roy, he casually jumped out of the way. "Is that better old man? Can we stop doing this totally gay magic now?"  
  
Roy peered over at Taz Lady, his girlfriend, who was trying to contain her laughter,  
  
"Old Man?" he asked, Taz lady interrupted the student's reply,  
  
"Elmo's here." She said, gesturing toward the main doorway as the three figures appeared.  
  
"Oh great" replied Roy with a roll of the eyes "As if things couldn't get any worse…."  
  
The student snorted again. "Another old fart! What the hell is balloon boy doing here anyways?"  
  
"I have some bad news" said Elmo, casually leaning against the door frame, nodding towards James, "and it's nice to see you too James…"  
  
James spotted Aeris01 striding up behind the Agony Uncle,  
  
"So how's your lessons going Aeris01?" James asked sarcastically, inserting more innuendo in the word "Lessons" than Axel the Sot in his whole act.  
  
Aeris01 smiled and passed the sarcasm with such ease, "They're going alright. We got the fire Elementals done. Elmo said I could be doing some higher level stuff soon."  
  
James laughed, "It's a miracle you two ever get any lessons done, how can he teach you with his tongue down your throat? …"  
  
"ENOUGH!" Shouted Aerith, "We're here to discuss a matter of grave importance, the whole future of the universe is in the balance!"  
  
"The future of the universe is ALWAYS in the balance, reality is hanging by a thread, yadda, yadda, yadda." Said James, gesturing in a careless manner.  
  
Aerith shook her head, "This is WORSE!"  
  
James laughed, "Elmo's bucked things up again? What a dufus!"  
  
Aerith grabbed hold of James, pulling him in her face, "Why don't you take things seriously for once?!" Aerith shoves him back to where he was standing, "What I am about to tell you are the four words you never wanted to hear, the four words you have nightmares about, the four words that could spell the end of the Universe!"  
  
Aeris01 leaned over and whispered to Roy, "She's damn good at this melodrama stuff isn't she?"  
  
Roy replied with his arms crossed, "She's just warming up..."  
  
James looked deep in thought. "Four words huh? 'Honey, I'm a man'???"  
  
Aerith collapsed, "Twisted has been stolen!"  
  
Roy collapsed "Oh bugger!"  
  
Aeris01 murmured "So, how is this bad? I mean Twisted is just a book right?"  
  
Elmo shook his head and explained, "She means THE Twisted, the first draft, it's one of a kind. If it falls in the wrong hands, then…"  
  
"Then? Then what? You can't end there. What makes this book so damn special?" asked Roy.  
  
Elmo sat up in concerning thought, "In all the Omniverse there is a lost library, you see, books aren't just books there, their alive."  
  
"Alive? How? I mean they're just paper right?"  
  
"Words are more than that, I mean that's the essence of Narrative Causiality, the problem is they can't be left to run around on their own, they need to be…."  
  
"Imprisoned?" suggested Aeris01, hopefully knowing what she's talking about.  
  
"Yes…bound…in books, then, they can be released into the minds and imaginations of the reader..."  
  
"So answer the question! What's special about this book?"  
  
"Well all realities need their rules, right? In this book, all the rules are set out, the thing is the rules are never static, even gravity can change given the circumstances, so the book can be re-written, and the rules flexible."  
  
"Right, so if someone else re-writes the book, and not you..."  
  
"Then we're in deep s…"  
  
"Simple", said Aeris01 "We just find who stole the book and get it back right?"  
  
James shook his head as he eyed Aeris01, "Amanda, do the words 'Needle' and 'haystack' mean anything to you?"  
  
Elmo thought for a while and came to a conclusion with exclamation, "The Flipside, that's where it is!"  
  
James rolled his eyes, "It's always the freaking Flipside, I mean when we run out of toilet paper, it's their fault, when it rains it's always their fault, find someone original for a change!"  
  
"It's the only thing that makes sense! They want to destroy this reality, so get the book and it's in their hands."  
  
"Why haven't they tried this before?" Aeris01 asked in curiosity.  
  
"Because their reality is in the same book, they can't destroy our reality without destroying theirs... In theory…" summarised Elmo.  
  
"In Theory?"  
  
"Well in practise, they could just rip out the right pages…"  
  
"Great!" shouted James, "So because of this dumb book, you've put us all in danger AGAIN!"  
  
"Will you shut up!" shouted Aeris01. "If it's anyone's fault, it's theirs."  
  
"You've changed," said James "You never used to be like this before HE came along…"  
  
Aerith interrupted "Can we save the Teenage Angst for Dawson's Creek or something, we have to get that book back. Who's going?"  
  
"Well I am" volunteered Elmo "I'd be the only one who'd recognises it"  
  
"If you're going, then so am I" said Aeris01 with enthusiasm.  
  
"I'm not going" mused James "You want to go and kill yourselves, I'm not going to help you do it."  
  
Roy nodded, "If you two are going, I'll go with you."  
  
Aerith shook her head, "Someone has to hold the fort."  
  
Taz Lady held Roy's hand "I don't know what I'd do if something happened to you, please stay!"  
  
"I think I'm gonna be sick" said James  
  
Roy nodded with reassurance, "Alright, I'll stay."  
  
"Then it's just the three of us," said Elmo "Aeris01, Aerith and I"  
  
"How do we get there?" asked Aeris01 "Last time we had a portal."  
  
Elmo produced one blue and one red capsule. "Breath Freshener anyone?"  
  
Aerith suggested "Perhaps we could teleport ourselves in there?"  
  
"No, they're probably expecting us," said Elmo as he contemplated, "There is another way, I mean it hasn't been used for centuries but there's a path that leads there."  
  
"The Black Path?" asked Aerith as her eyes widened "But that's suicide! We have to face our worst fears, no one has ever crossed it."  
  
"Got another idea?" asked Elmo  
  
The two women shook their heads.  
  
"Let's get going!"  
  
  
  
In the Flipside, Emperor Elmo sat in the luxurious throne next to his empress, the great Aeris02, as he gazed in the pool of which was his mirror to their "Flipside".  
  
As the ripples disintegrated the image, he turned to Aeris02 and spoke in perfect manner as perhaps a king would, "You've done well my loyal subject, they'll probably use the Black Path to get here too, send some troops to arrest them once they get over."  
  
Aeris02 turned to her husband as she stood with her hip leaning to one side. Her brown hair drifted over her shoulder as she spoke, "What gives you the impression they'll use the Black Path?"  
  
Emperor Elmo smirked at her questioning, "Because I know that buffoon Uncle Elmo, he can't resist a challenge. This time, I'll be waiting for him!" His loyal tiredness seemed nothing more than a yawn… "I think I'll have a nap my dear…I need my strength."  
  
They kissed and Aeris02 unsheathed a dagger from her belt and held it behind the Emperor's back. And just before she turned the dagger to pierce his back, she hesitated and kept the dagger.  
  
"Goodnight my love" said Elmo  
  
Aeris02 smiled.  
  
When the Emperor had left, Aeris02 has a seat in his chair and called for her personal guard,  
  
"If Uncle Elmo crosses that path, bring him straight to me!"  
  
"What about Aeris01 ma'am?"  
  
Aeris02 waves her hand in not caring, "Kill her for all I care, I just want the Agony Uncle alive, capiche?"  
  
"Yes mistress, with pleasure!"  
  
Aeris02 sat back in the Emperor's throne, looked out the mirror, and smiled to herself….  
  
  
  
In the meantime our three heroes had arrived at the Black Path. The Path was in fact a bridge extending to infinity, blackness surrounded the three like a velvet sheet.  
  
"Just looks like an ordinary path to me!" said Aeris01 as she ventured aimlessly ahead.  
  
Elmo shrugged "Let's go then…"  
  
The three stepped forward arm in arm until….  
  
"Do you feel that?" asked Elmo as the floor beneath then trembled.  
  
The two looked around. "Nope" they said.  
  
Suddenly the earth shook like a Spaniard's honeymoon bed, Aeris01 fell to her feet and slipped over the edge, Elmo grabbed her hand.  
  
"Help me!" Aeris01 screamed as she looked down into the infinite blackness  
  
Elmo strained to hold on to her. "I'm trying!" shouted Elmo "Aerith, can you give me a hand here?"  
  
He looked around, the flower girl was nowhere to be seen.  
  
He tried to pull her up but he couldn't.  
  
"Don't let go", she cried as her eyes filled with fear, "I'm slipping!"  
  
Elmo extended his other arm "Grab on to this!" he said.  
  
Aeris01 shook her head and screamed, "I can't!"  
  
"Come on! Try!" shouted Elmo  
  
Aeris01 shook her head and closed her eyes as the tears streamed down her face, "I can't, I'm slipping! Goodbye my love…"  
  
There was nothing Elmo could do to stop Aeris01 slipping from his grasp and fall into the inky abyss below…  
  
Then the stillness…the utter stillness surrounded him, choking the life out of him and his heart…  
  
Elmo sat on the edge and sobbed.  
  
"That's it," thought Uncle Elmo "Aeris01's dead…" He stood up…The Path seemed non-existent as he readied himself to leap off the bridge following his soulmate, to his death…  
  
  
  
TO BE CONTINUED!  
  
  
  
1 Chapter 3  
  
  
  
Aerith looked at her surroundings, they seemed familiar but at the same time, different…  
  
One second she was on the Black Path, then after she picked herself up after the earthquake, she found herself here…  
  
A waterfall illuminated the gloom as Aerith came to find herself on a smallish pedestal, about six feet in diameter, the coldness chilled her spine, the spires of the church extended forever above her head. She looked down at her palm and saw the round sphere of Holy gleaming and then she knew….  
  
I know what I have to do she told herself.  
  
She sank to her knees and prayed for Holy, just like she had been destined to do…the words of the Ancients willed her to do it. Her fate was like a river, washing her downstream to meet her destiny.  
  
Suddenly she felt a familiar sense appear, her eyes widening,  
  
Cloud? She thought  
  
His calm blue eyes filled the world, as she then felt the excruciating pain of cold steel through her flesh.  
  
She slumped forward and fell on the cold floor and managed to roll over to see the face of her attacker.  
  
Cloud Strife's laugh filled the world and Aerith felt her eyes fill with tears.  
  
"Why?" she asked, the pain of this event almost was overtaking her speech.  
  
Cloud snorted-his once blue eyes cold with anger and despair, "Why not? I never liked you anyway," he said in a tone of pure arrogance.  
  
Cloud lifted the sword above his head, readying for the final strike…  
  
Aerith quickly grabbed a hold of her Princess Guard and braced herself to parry the blow, Cloud brought the sword down and broke the sceptre in two.  
  
His laugh rang in her ears as he pocketed out a dagger and tossed it on the ground by her side.  
  
"Go on" he said, making a tempting sound fill his voice, "Finish the job, I've always wanted to see you squirm!"  
  
"I've nothing to live for now anyway…" and with her eyes full of tears, she held the dagger tightly and prepared herself to plunge it into her heart…  
  
Aeris01 found herself on the floor of a small cavern. She remembered falling down when the earthquake hit.  
  
She felt a twinge in her foot, her ankle burst with pain.  
  
"Damn! Just what I need, a broken ankle!" she said.  
  
Looking around for any leverage, she managed to pull herself on a rock and sat down awkwardly, grimacing with the pain.  
  
"I wish Elmo was here…," she said to herself aloud.  
  
"Oh…But I am…," said Elmo, stepping out of the shadows.  
  
She stood quickly to run to him, only to let her ankle give out from under her. She fell to the floor, Elmo standing motionless just staring at her movement. She gazed up at him in question.  
  
"Why didn't you help me?" asked Aeris01, head cocked to one side.  
  
Elmo shrugged, "A shame the fall didn't finish you off…put you out of your misery..."  
  
"What are you saying?!" asked Aeris01, her mind not concentration on her physical pain.  
  
Elmo laughed "Oh, come on. Do you really think that I'd come down on my white horse to save you? Grow up! Life's not that easy!"  
  
Aeris01 shook her head in disbelief "What's happened to you? Did you hit your head?"  
  
Elmo shook his head, "The truth hurts doesn't it? The thing is Amanda, I'm tired of listening to your little girl act"  
  
"What's that supposed to mean?" She managed to stand on one leg and not put weight on the other. Standing three feet or so from him, his actions were still at a minimum.  
  
"All this 'soulmate' crap, I mean it's a load of garbage. I want you, you want me, that's all it is, we're both teenagers acting on our hormones…."  
  
"I thought you…loved me."  
  
"Love? Hah! Love is just a legitimate excuse to get someone in the sack, I thought you knew that…Obviously not."  
  
"What about us, you know what we talked about…"  
  
"There is no 'us'. What would I want with an ugly little runt like you?"  
  
Aeris01's heart disappeared. Her eyes seemed dead, her body cold and bitter. The life in her was gone, or so the life of her emotions. The end of all she knew. She seemed to continue with her questioning.  
  
"I thought you felt for me?" she asked, praying inside her for a bit of hope at the end.  
  
Elmo shook his head. "Sorry 'hun', you thought wrong. Now will you get it over with?"  
  
"Get what over with?"  
  
"Here, " Elmo produced a sword, "End it all and perhaps I can get home in time for Jerry."  
  
"Can I ask why?"  
  
"James paid me a healthy sum, the fool couldn't bring himself to do it, so it's my turn. Piccolo will be over the moon…."  
  
"All this effort to kill little old me huh?" Her humor was sour.  
  
"Well you ruined James' life so after that, well let's just say he's less than pleased…"  
  
Aeris01 held the sword in her hand.  
  
"What now?" she asked  
  
"Try the throat." suggested Elmo "Nice and fast, messy though but, hey, what can we do. It'll be a shame to see you go though," he said "We had some fun, but hey, those are the breaks…"  
  
Aeris01, her face wet with tears, held the sword close to her throat, ready to end her nightmare…  
  
  
  
Uncle Elmo sniffed the air for a moment then jumped. He hung in the air and found him suspended high above the precipice.  
  
"Hey! What happened?" he asked in confusion.  
  
He looked back and saw Aerith grimacing with the effort "Got ya!" she said as she guided Uncle Elmo safely to the ground.  
  
Once there, Aerith sighed with relief "That was close! You were nearly a gonner!"  
  
His mind was scattered, and hesitant "Aeris01 is gone! He shouted, I let her go…."  
  
Aerith shook him "It's not real, none of it is. We're in the Black Path remember? Our worst fears?"  
  
"So…losing Aeris01 was mine…Oh bugger we have to find her!"  
  
After careful searching, Elmo turned at a sound…Once he continued to listen, he followed the source from which it came. He suddenly froze in his tracks. The sound just wasn't a sound, it was a song…a very familiar song…  
  
Aerith quickly ran up behind him "What is it?"  
  
Elmo, speechless, pointed in the direction of where he saw a figure  
  
They found Aeris01 rocking back and forth - a sword by her throat, humming softly a song only Elmo recognised...Lost in Space  
  
Elmo then quickly ran up to her and grabbed the sword away from her, tossing it away. He grabbed her by the shoulders and tried to stand her to her feet. Her arms tore away his grip as she stared up at him, her eyes filled with tears and fright.  
  
"Go away!" she screamed "You don't want me!"  
  
Elmo, choking back the tears, held onto Aeris01 tight, "Cariad it's not real…Whatever you've heard, none of it's real. Of course I want you…You know 'I'd be lost in space without you', my love…"  
  
Aeris01 suddenly felt the life grow in her again. She wiped her tears away. After a long pause, she gained her composure, "I knew something was wrong… Hun it was terrible, you were Piccolo…"  
  
"Well it's over now" reassured Elmo as he held Aeris01's hand in a comforting manner "The thing is, how did you get out of it Aerith?"  
  
Aerith shrugged "I knew it wasn't real, Cloud NEVER had that good an aim!"  
  
Aerith helped Elmo pull Aeris01 to her feet. "Let's get the hell out of here!"  
  
The three quickly ran along the path, now just a simple bridge and into a trap…  
  
Upon the clearing, the guards held the three by gunpoint and soon enough, they found themselves surrounded.  
  
"You're arrested in the name of Emperor Elmo 1st!!!"  
  
Uncle Elmo gulped "Oh bugger"…  
  
TO BE CONTINUED  
  
  
  
  
  
Twisted – The Lost Libraries (Chapter 4)  
  
  
  
The young woman skipped through the deep dark forest that marked the border of the Flipside. She paused for a while to study a small lily that was on the floor, cocking her head to one side she picked up the flower and sniffed it, letting it's fragrance fill her nose. Then, checking her lazer pistol was at full strength, skipped onwards towards the clearing…..  
  
"So, don't we have any famous last requests?" asked Elmo  
  
The guard smiled, "I've heard about you, no funny tricks…" he raised his gun and pointed it at Aeris01's head "Or your girlfriend gets a free facelift!"  
  
Elmo shrugged "Sheesh, just asking."  
  
The group walked onwards, into the forest.  
  
Elmo spoke, "Well Mr Guard, is that your gun in my back or are you pleased to see me?"  
  
The guard sighed and asked Aeris01 "Does your boyfriend ever shut his trap?"  
  
Aeris01 's reply was interrupted by a laser blast above Elmo's head, the branch fell on the guard behind Elmo.  
  
"RUN!" shouted the mystery attacker. "This way!"  
  
Elmo hesitated and picked up the guard's gun and pointed it at Aeris01's guard..  
  
"Let Aeris01 go or I'll give YOU a free facelift "  
  
The guard grabbed hold of Aeris01, "You'll have to shoot through her first!"  
  
Aeris01 winked at Uncle Elmo "Hun, you go, I'll be fine."  
  
Elmo looked at Aerith for reassurance who was also being held by a guard. "We can look after ourselves."  
  
"ARE YOU COMING?" asked the Mystery attacker.  
  
Elmo blew a kiss to Aeris01,  
  
"I'll return," he said  
  
Aeris01 nodded, "I'll be waiting… here,"  
  
"Why?" asked Elmo  
  
"So if we get seperated, you'll know where to find me dumbass!"  
  
"oh, alrighty then…., Hwyl!"  
  
Elmo ran into the gloom towards the mystery woman.  
  
The guards dragged Aeris01 and Aerith away,  
  
"Damnit!" said the guard, "The General won't be happy about this…"  
  
Sometime later…..  
  
"You did WHAT?" screamed the general  
  
"We were ambushed, there were too many of them,"  
  
"Yeah, thousands!" agreed the other Guard  
  
The General paced around the guards, "And yet you managed to keep two of the prisoners, how brave of you" he said sarcastically  
  
"It wasn't easy," said the Guard beaming with pride.  
  
"I'll bet, no matter, YOU can explain to the Emperor how you let that fool get away…"  
  
"Anything but that Sir, please!"  
  
The General grinned "Go on, I wouldn't keep the Emperor waiting,"  
  
The guard walked into the throne room and his screams rang out into the night a few minutes later.  
  
The general poked Aeris01 in the back, "Now it's your turn dear,"  
  
Aeris01 took a deep breath and entered the throne room.  
  
  
  
Elmo followed the figure, a young woman dressed in red to a large house in the forest.  
  
The figure turned around,  
  
"This is my place, come on in."  
  
"Who are you?" asked Elmo  
  
The young woman smiled, "My name is Jenova Dromidae, may all be bless with my power"  
  
"Ok.aaaayyyy, Now, why don't you tell me who you REALLY are, space ranger? Why did you help me?"  
  
"Why are you so distrustful? When you are at one with the aura of the universe there really is no reason to be afraid., Come follow me. We can go and rescue your girlfriend later"  
  
"You know where they've taken her? Take me there!"  
  
"I notice your apprehension, but there really is no reason to act hasty, no harm will come to her."  
  
"How can you say that?"  
  
"I know many things Elmo. Now come, we need to formulate a plan, I have friends that will help us…"  
  
"Alright then, but once your friends get here you'll take me to her."  
  
"You have my word." She said, smiling.  
  
Emperor Elmo looked at the meek young woman walking towards him.  
  
"Welcome to my humble abode," he said.  
  
Aeris01 managed a weak smile "Just tell me what you want with me."  
  
"Cheer up!" said Elmo "It's not the end of the world…. yet What I want with you Aeris01 is simple, "  
  
"What?"  
  
"Well I knew that if I dangled a large enough carrot, you and that fool would come, and you came alright!"  
  
"So you're not going to destroy the book?"  
  
The Emperor picked up the first draft of "Twisted" and looked at it.  
  
"My dear, If you learn nothing else about me learn this. I am not stupid. Don't you think I know the risks involved in burning this thing? No, I'm just going to do some re-writing, that's all nothing major. Unless, of course you follow my preoposition…"  
  
"What would that be?" asked Aeris01  
  
The Emporer smiled  
  
"I'd like you to kill someone for me…."  
  
"Forget it! You want that sort of thing, ask Xena, or Buffy, I'm not a killer."  
  
"No matter, I'll find someone else,," he returned to the book, "Now where was that chapter on Elmo's birth, ahh here it is, perhaps I should burn this page, after it has became a little chilly hasn't it?"  
  
"You wouldn't dare!"  
  
"Wouldn't I? Does it matter to me if that buffoon never gets born? I understand though if killing is against your principles then…."  
  
"No, I'll do it, just don't hurt Elmo, Please."  
  
"Honestly, this concept of mercy eludes me, but if you carry out this task successfully then you have my word he'll be spared. There is one other thing though…."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I want you to marry me."  
  
"What?, No way! And besides I thought you already were married!"  
  
"Who do you think I want you to kill?"  
  
The truth dawned on Aeris01 "Look bud, I'm not going to marry you in a million years, so don't bother."  
  
"oh look here's a flame" the emperor produced a fireball from his finger and the flame flickered with a burning white heat.  
  
"I wonder what'll happen if I burn this page here…., Will it hurt? Being erased from existance….."  
  
"ALL RIGHT! I'll kill Aeris02, but only if you don't lay a finger on Elmo. You can kidnap me, you can try to torture me, but no-one, I mean no one messes with my boyfriend, got it?"  
  
"Splendid. I'm glad we have an agreement . Guard, take her to the armoury, she has to stock up for this mission."  
  
The guard marched Aeris01 away…  
  
Elmo was sat at the table in the meticulously cleaned mansion, he was on his fourth cream pie.,  
  
"So tell me again", he asked Jenova Dromidae, "what is this situation going on between Aeris02 and Uncle Elmo?"  
  
"They hate each other, there are rumours that both parties have taken contracts on each other's lives."  
  
"But why?"  
  
"Aeris02 is unhappy with these constant transgressions into other realites, she wants to consolidate our territories in THIS dimension and not bother with others."  
  
"Why not get a divorce?"  
  
"In this dimension, my learned friend, death IS divorce!"  
  
"So who's side are you on? Aeris02's or the Emperor's?"  
  
"Mine" answered Aeris02 who had just walked in. "You have done well dear Sister, you shall be rewarded."  
  
Jenova looked estatic "How so?"  
  
"Do not question my authority or it'll be the cockroach pits for you!"  
  
"Anything but that!"  
  
Aeris02 turned to Elmo.  
  
"So, the great Uncle Elmo, what's up boy, haven't you seen a woman before? I know I'm so attractive but that's not the reason I've spent all this time and effort to bring you to me."  
  
"Aww, and I thought it was because you liked my singing…. I didn't know you two were sisters."  
  
"There mere thought of it is repulsive, I mean that weak creature, related to me, She does have her uses though. As do you."  
  
"I can slice, I can dice, I can liquidise, you can also lay me upright and use me as a battering ram…"  
  
Aeris02 grabbed hold of Elmo's face "How dare you mock me! Pathetic creature. When I look into your eyes fanfic author, all I see is weakness. You make me sick. Just looking at you is enough to disgust me. Potting about like the world is great. Little birdies flying around your head. You think that's what life is about? Life is pain. I've had enough pain in my life and I intend to make everyone else suffer because of it."  
  
"If it's about that time of the month, there are tablets for that you know…."  
  
You're so infuriating! .You're just like HIM, that idiot who took me as his husband, just a dreamer. No more dreams. Dreams are weak. Time for some action."  
  
"Where do I come into this?"  
  
"My support is strong, the only obsticle is that buffoon if an Emperor, I want him out  
  
"  
  
"and you want me to get him out right? "  
  
"Correct. If you help me eliminate the emperor then I'll make sure you and that idiotic girlfriend of yours leave unharmed. You'll never hear from the flipside ever again."  
  
"You know where Aeris01 is?"  
  
"She's in the castle, I can take you to her."  
  
"Take me to Aeris01 and it's a deal."  
  
"One thing though, there's a rumour that the Emperor has hired some bounty hunters to collect you."  
  
"I've been hunted before, this is no different."  
  
"THESE hunters will eliminate a little worm like you. These twop are the best in the business."  
  
"Don't bet on it…."  
  
Aeris02 laughed "Now I must go, they'll suspect something if I'm gone for too long. Meet me at the castle midnight tomorrow."  
  
Elmo nodded.  
  
"Will you call off the bounty hunters?" Elmo asked.  
  
"They won't listen to me, besides this place is well hidden, I'm sure they won't find you…"  
  
  
  
"FOUND HIM!, That tracking system worked a treat…"  
  
"Pika."  
  
"Well there's our bounty, time to collect, What about the others?"  
  
"Pika-chu-chu"  
  
"That's right buddy, we've gotta catch them all"…  
  
  
  
TO BE CONTINUED  
  
  
  
Chapter 5  
  
The emporer slapped Aerith Gainsborough once again in the face.  
  
"GIVE IT TO ME!" he shouted  
  
Aerith raised her bloody face "Never, if you think I'll give you THAT secret, you obviously don't know me."  
  
Emporer Elmo snorted, "You are indeed brave, but bravery in the face of inevitability is foolish, Dr Roy D. Mercer is working on the code right now, I just hope I could speed things along by asking you for the key. "  
  
"I still don't know what you'll achieve by decoding that book" asked Aerith  
  
The Emporer smiled "You are Naiive aren't you. You see I can't destroy the book, but as the identical twin of the creator, I can change it, Get rid of that pesky barrier the gods of narrative causiality put up to keep us in for instance.."  
  
"You'll never succeed! That key is impenetrable, only Elmo can break the code..."  
  
The Emporer smilaed again, "and that, my dear Aerith, is my point, if HE can solve it, then so can I."  
  
The Emporer's cellular rang. "Hello? It's me. You've solved it doctor? DNA sequence? I'll be right down. The Prisoner?…" The emporer thought for a while. "Kill her, I have no use for her now. I'll be there in a minute, Hwyl!"  
  
The Enporer turned to walk away. He stopped and picked up the "Holy" materia on the way. "Mind if I take this? It seems that you won't be able to wear it around your neck soon, what with you not having a head and all. It seems that the code is simpler than we thought, it's based on the creator's DNA, a trait that we unfortunately share. Hwyl fawr, I'd have liked to get to know you better but.. you know how it is…"  
  
The Emporer left the room, leaving Aerith behind.  
  
Aerith slipped her hand into her dress and produced a small yellow pill. She swallowed it and for the second time ever, Aeirth felt the life ebbing away from her.…  
  
The two bounty hunters crept stealthily up to their quarry, they were tantalisingly close to Elmo, one more step and….  
  
"Put the gun down James." Aeris02 whispered quietly.  
  
"Pika!"  
  
"..and tell your yellow frined to back off, or I'll be able to watch TV through your head."  
  
James motioned and Pikachu frowned.  
  
"He's a bit anxious, he hasn't eaten in three days your majesty. Count yourself lucky he's been programmed not to harm a member of the royal family" Said the errant Bounty hunter  
  
"Do I look like as if I care? He can eat some more children when you return to the castle emptyhanded."  
  
"Why do you protect this pathetic creature?" asked Bounty Hunter Cornett.  
  
"He has his uses, how's things being the Emporer's lapdog?" asked Aeris02  
  
"Funny, I was about to ask you the same question. You were never like this before HE came along"  
  
"No, I was weak, and now I run the whole kingdom."  
  
"What about us?"  
  
"There was no us, stop deluding yourself fool. You probably dream of me every night, being with me, well, I may be the most desirable person in the universe, but I have my standards.."  
  
"Ouch, that hurt, is there really a heart in that coal furnace in your chest? Have I pained the great Aeris02?"  
  
"Go home to your master, like a dog, and I just may spare your life, watch your back Cornett, you may have a knife in it one day."  
  
"As shall you, your concetedness shall be your downfall."  
  
Aeris02 nodded and lowered the gun.  
  
"We had good times Cornett, but I'd never stay with a weak fool like you. Now run, I'll give you a head start, and take your Yellow partner with you, unless he likes being fried that is…."  
  
"Is this Mercy from the great Aeris02? Has he changed you?"  
  
Aeris02 fired the gun in the air.  
  
"Ten seconds Cornett."  
  
The two Bounty hunters ran into the distance.  
  
"Who was that?" asked Elmo.  
  
"An old aquaintance, now take these clothes and get changed, the plan is this, You will enter our bedchamber and then, when he enters, Kill him, he may try to trick you by using a 'Mimic' spell to look like me. Don't be fooled, kill him anyway."  
  
"Why have I got to dress like him?"  
  
"Right afterwards, I shall make an address to the people, with you by my side telling of our new intentions of non violence towards the Flipside."  
  
"and Aeris01?"  
  
"You'll be allowed to leave this dimension with her soon afterwards,"  
  
Elmo nodded "When do we start.?"  
  
"As soon as you get bloody changed!"  
  
"Okay, I hear you!"  
  
  
  
Aeris01 sat in the bedchamber, "I don't know how the hell Aeris02 wears these corsets all the time, how can she breathe?" she asked herself. "Right, recap on the plan, she'll walk in, I kill her then, she might look like the emporer to trick me, so I still kill him, I mean her. Right. Is it just me or is this plan totally insane… Never mind Amanda Adams, just focus your mind on the job. Is that a noise? Okay, deep breths, oh it's useless how can you take a deep breath when your wearing a corset, damn, that's Her! Right.. here goes…."  
  
The door opened.  
  
"So, " said the figure, "You thought you could trick me eh?, that mimic spell is a lame idea!" the figure pulled out a gun. "A Bullet never lies."  
  
Aeris01 breathed deep and pulled out a gun of her own. "Think I'm stupid? Pull the other one bitch!"  
  
The two guns were aimed at each other's heads, then, someone pulled the trigger…..  
  
  
  
TO BE CONTINUED…  
  
Chapter 6  
  
As the two were confronting each other...both triggers shot at once, both of their eyes shut. Then...silence. Aeris01 peeked her eyes open to see what was thought to be her enemy doing the same. They both stand as she looks at her pistol...  
  
"Hmm...Perhaps he wanted me dead...I don't understand..."  
  
Elmo scratched his head, "Maybe it was a trick?"  
  
She raised her head and looked at him in confusion, "What? You're the one playing the trick! I saw right through that Mimic the moment you walked in Aeris02!"  
  
Elmo slightly laughed, thinking it was a clever mind trick, "Don't play with me Emperor. I know your games all too well."  
  
She raises and eyebrow, "You think I'm the Emperor?"  
  
"You think I'm Aeris02?"  
  
She stands in demanding order, "Then who are you?"  
  
Elmo walks up to her and glares, "I should be asking the same of you."  
  
She raised her head as she put away her gun, "I am Aeris01. Former leader of the AOC. And you, sir?"  
  
His eyes widened as a smile grew wide upon his face, "It's me, Amanda. It's Ellis!"  
  
Aeris01 stood for a moment, trying to piece everything together. She looked in his eyes and saw that same soft glow that she remembered the time they stood together outside HQ. Her eyes welled up as she ran for his arms.  
  
He held her tightly and whispered, "I'm glad you're alright..."  
  
She smiled from his concern, "Of course. I told you I could handle it."  
  
Elmo looked at her joyous face, "Indeed...but we almost killed each other!"  
  
Aeris01 had a seat on the bed, "I tend to think of it as an unknowing-of. I don't want to think that I would..." She couldn't finish the sentence.  
  
He had a seat beside her as he stared at the floor, "I know, Cariad. I don't want to think of that either. But just a question...what exactly are you doing here?"  
  
Aeris01 explained, "Emperor Elmo forced me to imitate Aeris02 and assasinate her. He told me that she would Mimic him which would be you."  
  
Elmo nodded, "That's exactly the case with me...yet it was Aeris02 who convinced me to, and that you're Emperor Elmo."  
  
Her mind began to hurt as she calculated this event, "So let me get this right. I am to assasinate Aeris02 who is using Mimic to impersonate Emperor Elmo...which...would have been you. And you're supposed to assasinate Emperor Elmo mimicing Aeris02...which would be me...but yet it isn't."  
  
Elmo smirked, "It's just too easy, isn't it?"  
  
Aeris01 sighed, "Gosh...that's alot of assasination going on. But why go to the trouble?"  
  
"Oh Bugger.………" said Elmo  
  
"What? Tell me!" exclaimed Aeris01 frantically  
  
"This is bad…."  
  
Aeris01 waved her hands in a fantic motion. "Will you stop that? Spit out,"  
  
"Remember that book he stole….."  
  
"What? Twisted?"  
  
"Yes, Well if he's hacked the coding of the book he can rewrite it.."  
  
"and that means?"  
  
  
  
  
  
"Made it!" exclaimed Emperor Elmo with glee. "No more traipsing through that Black path, I've re-written the whole of Narrative causiality, now Elmo and his friends will know the TRUE horror of the flipside.."  
  
"Don't you think we aught to kill them? They're not as stupid as you think, they'll know what we're up to." Asked Aeris02  
  
"Once full convergence occurs, they'll cease to exist, we can't have two Elmo's and two Aeris' sharing the same causiality…"  
  
"Then doesn't that mean we'll both be wiped out."  
  
"I'm the creator of this Narrative Causiality my dear, reality HAS to keep me alive, "  
  
"What about me?" she asked…  
  
Elmo waved his hand dismissively "Amass the troops dear and get ready to go through…"  
  
"As you wish…" said Aeris02 through gritted teeth.  
  
  
  
Uncle Elmo readied another fireball and launched it at the door, it exploded harmlessly with a "thud" against the door…  
  
"I don't get it, not even a scorch mark!"  
  
"Let me try" asked Aeris01, rolling up her sleeve.  
  
"Go ahead, I just hope you've got your aim sorted, that's all…"  
  
  
  
All was quiet at the Citadel,  
  
"Blow the door.." asked Emporer Elmo,  
  
"What, now with all these people watching?" asked the Guard.  
  
"Blow the door UP fool!"  
  
"Oh alright then…."  
  
With a bang the door exploded inwards.  
  
"What the…?" asked Roy, who had been attempting to lift a large computer monitor.  
  
"Who the hell is this?" asked Lisa, supervising Roy.  
  
"Look Elmo, you could have knocked you know…" said Roy, seemingly relaxing…  
  
The Emporer smirked. "Kill them , Kill them all"  
  
Bounty Hunter Cornett stepped forward. "With Pleasure".  
  
James lept up and tried to disarm the transgressor "Who the hell are you?" he asked.  
  
The Bounty Hunter's face filled his vision.  
  
"I'm YOU!, I'm your shadow.." He aimed the gun straight at James and opened fire.  
  
James slumped to the floor,  
  
"You killed him!" screamed Tazlady  
  
"No matter, you'll be seeing him very soon." Said the Emperor  
  
"That's what YOU think!"a young woman's voice rang around the room, as the Emperor was knocked sideways.  
  
"Aerith? " asked Roy, he looked around but couldn't see anyone then he heard a voice whisper in his ear "Get away from here as fast as you can, I'll find you." Roy nodded and cast Teleport, Tazlady and Roy dissappeared.  
  
"GET THEM! Screamed Aeris02. But it was too late,  
  
Emperor Elmo picked himself up from the floor, "The Flower girl? It couldn't be, the Doctor found her dead just before we set out, suicide apparently. Anyway, I have a present for you…"  
  
"What is it?" said Aeris02 irritably  
  
The Emperor produced a white materia.  
  
"Holy? But I thought the flower girl dropped it in the end…"  
  
"Well Cariad, I went down and got it for 'ya!"  
  
"Oh, you shouldn't have."  
  
They looked at each other lustfully, until the bounty hunter intervened..  
  
"What shall I do with the body?"  
  
"You didn't really kill him didn't you?" asked Aeris02  
  
"Of course not, think I'm stupid? I read the rules, we can't kill our alter egos directly or we get killed."  
  
"A foolish rule, I admit but I couldn't change it." Affrimed Emperor Elmo  
  
"Finally love, this dimension is ours." Said Aeris02 with glee  
  
"Indeed, but I wouldn't put it past these weak creatures to let it go without a fight!"  
  
"We may have a war on our hands" said Aeris02  
  
Emperor Elmo shrugged. "They don't know the meaning of war here, may the purging of Dimension #101-A begin!"  
  
"No one can stop us now!"….  
  
  
  
  
  
Aeris01 lifted her hands up and concentrated her strength, she closed her eyes and felt the energy build up, the fireball left her fingers, she heard Elmo hold his breath…  
  
"What the hell?" she heard him say.  
  
"Did it work?" she asked, eyes still closed.  
  
"Sort of… open your eyes."  
  
A large portal floated just in front of the doors, Elmo was sitting in the corner tranfixed by it.  
  
"Was that supposed to happen?" asked Aeris01  
  
Elmo soundlessly shook his head.  
  
"Someone's coming through!" Elmo shouted.  
  
The hooded figure, a svelte female stepped through the portal, Elmo couldn't make put her face. She extended a hand. She saw Elmo first.  
  
"Well hi Suga' I hear you've got a real ruckus going on here?"  
  
  
  
  
  
THE END?  
  
  
  
Coming Soon: Twisted-Armageddon  
  
War? Huh, what is it good for? Umm, not much, it gave Steven Speilburg an Oscar, Germans a bad name and M*A*S*H it's whole premise. The Next fic sees full out war between the flipside and our dimension, new characters, old enemies and well more of the same old stuff really, brought to you by the worse (me!) and the best (Aeris01) author's out there. See you then!  
  
  
  
CO-Author's Note! Ha! I bet you're screaming at me for such an ending huh? Well I have definate Ideas for the next part (A Whole new fic actually) Well, it's standard Elmo stuff, try to spot all the parodies, MGS? Even Britney Spears! It needs a lot of help but my work generally does! I really miss you and love you with all my heart! 


End file.
